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When I first moved to this city —sight unseen—as a single something, you better believe I was on all of the dating apps.

It's necessary. Coffee Meets Bagel?

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Apparently that's a thing, yes. I was nothing if not committed to the cause: Anyway, there's a time and a place for my online dating tales, and it ain't.

After much time and energy spent virtually shuffling through men like a deck of cards, I kept returning to one common refrain: Yes, it's true—they're all the same! And dafing save you the trouble, I've documented them here, in the urban woman's field guide. Happy hunting! Engineer Bio: Reliving his Aggie dating in houston area days Reason to swipe right: He wears a class ring.

No kids. Aging out of young professional mixers Reason to swipe right: He vaguely knows JJ Watt Reason to swipe left: He's a regular at B Lamenting political correctness, hand-washing his Ford F Reason to swipe right: He'll definitely pay on the first date Reason to swipe left: Lifting, flexing, stifling a huge inferiority complex Reason to swipe right: A shirtless pic Reason to signs women flirting left: A dating in houston area pic.

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The near-mythical combination of insightful and witty Hobbies: Reading, traveling, volunteering, calling his mom Reasons to swipe right: Reasons to swipe left: If it seems too good to be true, it probably dating in houston area. He's married. Alternate profile pic: In front of the flag at Manready Mercantile.

Underneath all those muscles? A crippling fear of inadequacy. Filed.

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